February random thoughts

I feel like my mind is full of all sorts of random thoughts lately. So don't mind my complete randomness. First of all I've read 3 really good books that I would recommend (the size thing and order of these pics has nothing to do with preference).

Same Kind of Different As Me. Awesome book about how a homeless black man and rich white man become close friends. True story. Loved it. Super inspirational (and clean, might I add).
Purity & Passion: Spiritual Truths About Intimacy That Will Strengthen Your Marriage. Best book I've ever read about marriage stuff. This is a book that I think that every engaged couple should read together. There are several other book along the same lines that I would not recommend anymore even though I thought I would before. This book helps put a spiritual perspective on things that might not otherwise be looked on by the "worldly standards" as such. (Written by Elder Russel M. Nelson's wife who also has a Ph.D. in family therapy and has worked in marriage and family therapy for over 25 yrs.).

Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters. Great book for fathers who have daughters. This is a religion neutral book that talks a lot about moral values and tells a lot of stories and gives examples on things that are important in raising daughters.

For Valentines week the girls decorated and painted little boxes.

And received little treasures in their boxes throughout the week.

Playing with Playdough.

The girls water colored valentines.

Snowflake hearts.

Window crayons.

Decorating cupcakes. I didn't do anything fancy this year for the cupcakes.

Here is the Valentines meal we had. I didn't even make most of it. Thank you Randy love!!!

I feel kind of bad because this year I did all sorts of fun little crafts and activities with the girls, but didn't do too much for my main Valentine. I did write him a note on his shower window and give him a back massage, but he deserves way more. I think I must be the luckiest woman in all the world. Seriously, he has had the best attitude about all the things he has been doing to help me out especially during this pregnancy. Daily back massages for my sore back, dish doing (which he does pregnancy or no), cooking dinner every night, putting the girls to bed, helping clean, and a few hunny do things too. Not to mention all the listening to me whine that he puts up with. And if that isn't enough, yesterday night when I got home from a Relief Society meeting around 10:30pm (because I was chatting for so long), guess what my husband was doing? Folding about 5 loads of laundry that I have neglected to fold. I really am the luckiest woman ever. I love that man more than I can possibly express. I feel pretty guilty sometimes that I don't do more to show him how much I love him. I really hope that once this baby is born I can have more energy and feel like a much more productive person (of course having a new baby won't make things easy, especially with the lack of sleep. Of course sleep is kind of a problem right now anyway). I just don't know what I would do without Randy. I love you Hun!!!

Other random thoughts: My grandpa is not doing so well. He's lost over 100 lbs. now and isn't eating or drinking much anymore. Hospice comes by everyday to take care of his needs. He'll be the first person that I know closely that will die this year. I'm not really sure how I'll take it. All of Randy's grandpas have died, but that was before I met him (3 of his grandpa's died on his mission. I think being a missionary the Lord helps out a little in the grieving process). Some of the steps to grieving include: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, & Acceptance, but they don't necessarily need to happen in that order. I have been through the grieving process before, but it was over something other than the death of a loved one and I didn't handle it too well and it may have put a few wedges in my relationships with family members, but somehow I made it through and I think I feel a little more empathy for people as a result. I just hope I can handle things better this time around. I think I will because I know it's coming and I can prepare myself a little. It's also nice to know that I don't have any real regrets about my relationship with my grandfather and any barriers have basically been lifted. I'm glad to know that he has returned to full activity in the church (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) and I'm glad to know that I was a part of that process when I gave him the talk: "And Nothing Shall Offend Them" by Elder David A. Bednar in Oct. 2006. If you would have asked me back then if I thought I would be able to see my grandfather in this life return to the church and partake of all the eternal blessings available to him, I probably would have said no. But I have since seen him participate in Belinda's blessing circle exercising the priesthood and the greatest thing was when my brother received his endowments in the temple and my grandfather was there in the temple session with us. That was the neatest thing to see. The worth of one soul truly is great in the sight of God. I guess the biggest lesson I've learned is that it's never too late and we should never give up on each other.

I had a good birthday. Here are a few of the gifts I received. My awesome mother in law made that cute bag (she is so talented)! I also went to a special birthday breakfast my mom put on for me with a bunch of friends. That was a fun surprise.

These girls are the light of my life. What would I do without them? It is so fun for me to see their relationship with each other improve. I think that they are starting to see each other as best friends and I hope and pray it will stay that way throughout their lives. Sisters should be best friends!!!

Katie Marie did her and Belinda's hair in pigtails this morning.

I love when my kids make me laugh. They really are some funny characters.

She put that thing on her head all by herself and came over to me like she wanted me to laugh at her (which I did).

Katie Marie has said some pretty funny things lately.

The first Sunday of the month Katie Marie's primary teacher told me that during class Katie Marie had asked her for a snack. Her teacher told her that they didn't bring a snack that week because it was fast Sunday. Katie Marie then said, "Oh, we only have snacks on slow Sundays."

Mom: "We're Going to run a few errands."

KM: "Run a few errands?"
Mom: "Yeah, like go to the grocery store."

KM: "But the grocery store is too far."
Mom: "No it's not. Wer're going to drive in our car there."

KM: "But I thought you said we're going to run there."

We had a pretty bad wind the other day and our neighbor's trampoline blew from their back yard all the way across the street in front of their house. Luckily we were there to help take it apart before it did any damage or blew even farther away.

I received this adorable surprise package in the mail today from my wonderful friend. So cute!!!

Last year I bought a modest tankini. However, Randy made a comment to me after I bought it about how he didn't want our daughters to wear tankinis, but how it didn't bother him that I did. Well, knowing that if I'm going to have my daughters do something I have to be willing to do it too so this one piece swim suit went on sale at lime ricki and I ordered it (I hope it fits eventually because I can't fit my big pregnant bum in it, but I'm still super excited about it). A $55 suit for only $15 dollars is a real score in my opinion. When I received it in the mail Katie Marie asked me before she saw it if if was the bottom or the whole thing? I told her it was the whole thing (I'm thinking it really is a good idea to set the standard now for my girls).

Also another random thought. I hate what the media does to women and this obsession that women have about weight or size. Who cares what SIZE you are. If you feel good about yourself, are eating healthy (not some diet shake instead of fruits and vegetables), and have energy and can exercise than you should be happy about your self image. There is a talk by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland "To Young Women" (Oct. 2005 General Conference). In it he says, "I plead with you...women to please be more accepting of yourselves, including your body shape and style, with a little less longing to look like someone else. We are all different some are tall and some are short. Some are round and some are thin. And almost everyone at some time or other wants to be something they are not!....Every young woman is a child of destiny and every adult woman a powerful force for good. I mention adult women because, sisters, you are our greatest examples and resources for these young women. And if you are obsessing about being a size 2, you won't be very surprised when your daughter or the Mia Maid in your class does the same and makes herself physically ill trying to accomplish it. We should all be as fit as we can be-that's good Word of Wisdom doctrine. That means eating right and exercising and helping our bodies function at their optimum strength. We could probably all do a little better in that regard. But I speak here of optimum health; there is no universal optimum size."

I am one of those tall & thinner people naturally and I'm sick of people hating me for it and asking me if I "eat." Yes!!! I don't want to be someone who has no "figure" I want to gain weight so that I'm not afraid I'll never get pregnant and I want to have energy to get out of bed in the morning. I can't wait to wear these pants after I have this baby. They are a size 9 and I look REALLY good in them thank you very much. The trick is to keep the weight on and the energy up!!! Don't tell me I need to eat more fat and butter (like one dietician told me, because it doesn't work). I know that I'm a rare case and most women out there are on the other end of the spectrum, but honestly I think most women I know who are obsessing about losing weight look REALLY good and should be perfectly happy with their size and weight instead of trying to look like a bean pole or something else. Stop listening to the media and all they are telling you about what you should look like, because it's not about what you LOOK like, it's about what you FEEL like. The point is that I should be exercising too, not because I need to lose weight, but because I want to feel good. If you have the mind set that only those who need to lose weight should be exercising and trying to eat healthy than you have missed the point I'm trying to make. If you can go out and run a mile with out being winded and are eating a variety of good foods, then I'd say you are in a good place and should start smiling at the way you look in the mirror a little more often.

Lastly, baby Alvin (named after Joseph Smith's brother Alvin and maybe a cute little chipmunk just for fun) will be here soon. I am not ready and frankly have been trying to ignore the amazingly long list of to do's before he comes. Biggest on the list is a car (preferrably a van) that will fit 2 car seats and a booster chair in it). We want to put in a garden this year (we've already ordered raspberries from my grandfather (so we kind of need to figure that out). Not to mention Belinda will need to be weaned from her crib and share Katie Marie's twin bed since there is no room for another bed in the room that the three of them will be sharing. Eventually the girls will share a queen size bed, but not until someday when our basement is finished. I hope they don't bother each other too much. We'll have two children in diapers since Belinda is less than interested in potty training right now and I'm not going to push her before she's ready. I should be feeling a nesting instinct (which I can't deny I have felt), but it kind of discourages me. I don't know what I want to do for the delivery of this baby. I basically want the same experience that I had with Belinda, but am afraid that it will be like when someone tries to reach the same peak as the first time they take a drug and then spends the rest of their life addicted trying to reach that peak, but can never again reach it. I worry that my expectations will be set for an experience like Belinda's and then if it's not like that, I'll be disappointed. I know that's a really bad mind set and attitude to have. I feel all together unprepared in just about every way for this baby other than that we at least have a name for him. I think I'll just keep ignoring everything until I have to finally face it. We are super excited to have him be a part of our family though and can't wait to see his cute little face.

I try not to be too opinionated on this blog, but I am pretty sure that I have failed as of right now. I know that being opinionated is one of my worst qualities (everytime I share an opinion I somehow offend someone, not on purpose of course), but I can't seem to help it. I need to vent every now and again. I hope none of you see this as too personal. I just feel kind of lonely sometimes and poor Randy has to put up with my thoughts too frequently. Honestly I've tried to keep my thoughts at a minimum to some degree. There is so much more, but Randy is the only one I can vent to about some of those thoughts. What would I do without that amazing man?

Here is my last random thing for this post. "He Heals the Heavy Laden" by Dallin H. Oaks (General Conference Oct. 2006) is one of my top 3 favorite talks of all time. My favorite quote from that talk is, "Healing blessings come in many ways, each suited to our individual needs, as known to Him who loves us best. Sometimes a 'healing' cures our illness or lifts our burden. But sometimes we are 'healed' by being given strength or understanding or patience to bear the burdens placed upon us."

I wish that I could share this quote and talk with every person who ever has to go through trials in their lives. Not that I am going through any extreme trials in my life right now, but at the time the talk was given I was, otherwise I may have checked it off of my list as just another good talk, but it's more than just another good talk to me now.